2020 in Music

This written piece is accompanied by my year end playlist “2020 Triumphant” available on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0VLfiJz3w9dBPlzt4iGKqO

Music did not take a break in 2020. From big-name collabs that would’ve been recorded at separate studios even without a pandemic, to slow-burners that were obviously recorded from home by artists losing sanity just as quickly as the rest of us, we had plenty to distract us from the massively difficult year that we all just experienced.

2020 reinforced the fact that musicians are sensitive as hell, even when their work typically only reaches surface level. Some reveled in the sadness. Others rejected it altogether. Here are the best tracks that artists put forth to reflect on, or dance through a year that we won’t forget, no matter how hard we try.

The 1 – Taylor Swift

She’s doing good, she claims. Nobody turned grief into gold like Taylor did during quarantine. “Folklore” was the best example of home-made music that we’ve seen this year. She took the opportunity to make intimate songs that send your spirit to an attic during a rainstorm. The 1 sees Taylor addressing the shrug of distant, dulled pain that comes long after heartbreak. The story of what happened and what went wrong is crystal clear from a distance, but hurts differently from that perspective. You can sympathize with a former version of yourself.

In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would’ve been fun…
If you would’ve been the 1

Un Dia – J Balvin, Dua Lipa, Bad Bunny, Tainy

I fell in love with this song during a vacation that just so happened to take place at a beach during a hurricane. The experience made an impact; seeing couples from different countries walk hand-in-hand through the resort during sunny days, unaware of the destruction that would come later that week. You never know when an unscathed fling will hit that inevitable first rough patch. The question is, can it recover?

Featuring three of today’s biggest hitmakers, this compilation has each of them trading their usual party jams in for a starkly more introspective project. They each discuss the push-and-pull in a relationship that always leaves someone feeling slighted. Lyrically, Bad Bunny comes out the strongest, yet softest. He wonders if he’s in your heart, even if just in the background. Other girls text him, but he just ignores it. He knows that “not even the waves have washed away (his) footprint.” The simple, existential crisis of a chorus rings over and over:

One day you’ll love me again
One day you’ll love me for sure
One day you’ll wake up feeling how I’ve been feeling
Baby you’ll knock at my door

Rare – Selena Gomez

The title track of her first album in years flows smoothly with a certain cool factor. It passes through you easily with unique noises, quirky pops and synth effects. You get so caught up in the bubbles filling the room that you almost don’t see the pure savagery on the other side.

Everyone has tried way, way harder than their counterpart at one time or another. Sometimes you’re only appealing to someone because you’re into them; they don’t actually like anything about you, but they’ll let you stick around until you’re exhausted, devastated and grasping for any indication that they see you.

In Rare, Selena Gomez recognizes her situation and calls it out bit for bit. She knows he doesn’t care, but she needs to point out that she’s plenty good enough. That in mind, she’s giving herself a break and cutting her losses. She knows she deserves that.

You don’t do the same for me
That’s not fair.
I don’t have it all
I’m not claiming to
But I know that I’m special…
And I bet there’s somebody else out there
To tell me I’m rare

Say Something – Kylie Minogue

“We’re a million miles apart, in a thousand ways” defines this year completely. I shared this song with everyone, but my mom was the one who picked out that line and remarked at how spot-on it was for today. Physical distancing, losing coworkers to layoffs, the political climate dividing us all more than ever… it’s a commentary of the dark moment we’re stuck in. This song focuses on what we had, and what we lost, and it dares to dream of the moment we can go back to it again.

The instant I heard it the morning of its debut, I was stunned. It reminded me of why I love music and what I’m missing about it: sharing it with people in public spaces, singing and dancing along drunk or sober. It put me in a place of bliss that I had not felt since before this year turned bad. I forgot what it felt like to be so thrilled, but Kylie put me right back there, singing about losing yourself in rapture amid flashing lights and colors and sound.

Oh we’re just
Just trying to find ourselves in the storms we chase
Baby in an endless summer, we can find our way
Say something say something
Tell me how you feel

Buzzkill – Baby Queen

Youthful angst is as old as music itself. This isn’t a new concept, and every generation contributes a few new faces to the movement; Fiona Apple, Lorde…Baby Queen? She’s so new it’s anyone’s guess where she will go with her music career, but this first entry will blow your face off. In it, she rages on, wondering what the hell her problem is. Her sing/talk/rap (with a bold, sophisticated accent) seers. She’s angry and perplexed, but everyone around her is telling her to have a good time. This song is her response to the ever-triggering collective “calm down.”

Well I was changing the world, but got distracted by my telephone
In every crowded room I feel unnaturally alone
It’s like I’m living in a dream but all the characters are me
I’m disillusioned by the world and I am filled with apathy

Power – Ellie Goulding

Ellie Goulding went away, clearly. Nobody’s really heard from her in years, and she came back without a fully-formed thought. Her new album didn’t stick with me, but within it is one gem: Power. This track alone was worth the wait. She nailed it. Lyrically and vocally she slammed this song down before us, and the production kicks it up even higher. You really need to SING this song like you’re fucking angry at somebody for wasting your time. She’s drifted from that person. She’s worn out and only halfway in it, but there’s no question that she knows who’s to blame.

Beautiful lies on a Friday night
Starting to wonder where we lost the magic
Head in the clouds, talking so loud
All I hear is static

Ego Death – Ty Dolla $ign, Kanye West, FKA Twigs, Skrillex

Sometimes a collaborative song comes with such force that it leaves you breathless. It’s rare that each contributor comes across with the same level of hard-hitting momentum. When this happens, and each section picks up where the previous left off, it’s like witnessing the gripping finish of a relay race. That’s what Ego Death does.

Skrillex gave the perfect backing for this track like only he could, dropping his own Ego to set the table for this high-powered collective to do their thing spotlessly. Ty and Kanye throw down frustrated verses with passion, criticizing themselves for coming up empty handed and feeling the burn of their own insecurities kicking themselves while down.

Murdered my ego when you walked away
It hurt my ego when you walked away
Gave you my all, that wouldn’t make you stay

FKA Twigs rounds out the song in a savage switch-up of the beat, like a firework grand finale. She occupies a brief portion of the song, but it comes perfectly at the very end, leaving herself as the lasting flavor of a triumphant banger.

Heart Attack – Odesza, Bronson

Heart Attack made several of my playlists this year, because it’s so damn good. Smooth, sexy pulsing carries you throughout with lyrics that didn’t necessarily need to hit hard (the beat was enough to make this song thrilling), but they crash-land with forlorn and deep introspection.

Ever felt so close to somebody that it hurts? Ever found out that they have none of those feelings for you? There’s always a chunk of time between when you realize your attachment to that person and when you can manage to get over it. Within that time frame, you’re stuck thinking about them and wondering where they are. You put out your most sensitive feelers to detect anything that can be misconstrued as affection. You’re squinting to read microscopic text in an unknown language, but somehow you keep trying to work it out in your brain.

It’s one thing to sing about love. It’s another to recount the agony that it can become.

What does it matter in the end?
I want a little bit of lightnin’
No, I don’t wanna be your friend
‘Cause these feelings are a violence
This love’s a heart attack