Sean Fucking Kennedy

I have awesome friends. Sean Kennedy ranks among the highest.

I remember when he moved into my apartment in February of 2020. He had previously lived across town, and he wanted to experience life in the gayborhood. We went out one epic evening, only to be met with a global shutdown the next week due to Covid. It sucked. With tons in common, we had so much fun on that night out, but it would be a while until we got to party again in the same fashion. Thankfully, we’ve made up for that lost time since then. That’s my boy.

Unlike me, he’s not the autobiographical type. He rarely talks about himself in great detail, as fascinating as his life is. You would never catch him bragging.

During his 30th birthday party, I met dozens of his friends. Some from college and some from work. But then there were many others who knew him from “dance.” I dug a little deeper only to find out that he competed in Irish Dance, and was quite literally one of the best in the world. When one of his girlfriends relayed that information, I laughed and exclaimed in a cracking voice “What !? That’s amazing!” as my eyes watered up. I was so proud of him and so surprised that I didn’t know that. He just doesn’t flex like so many bullshitters in LA do. I valued him even more after learning that.

My job didn’t change much during pandemic, but everything fun and joyous outside of work was unavailable to me. The gym, movies, concerts and even shopping all stopped. I’d come home to find Sean wrapping up his day with a big smile on his face. When Taylor Swift dropped Folklore, it was the topic of the household for months. I remember the coziness of that time, and how nice it felt to come home to a peaceful living space after handling panicked clients all day while facing public health risks. Our bond was the only stable thing I had at that time.

As time went on, we’d take a couple trips with a group of friends whom I grew much closer to because Sean was a more consistent attendant to social gatherings. He’s organized in a way that I’m not. It feels stupid to say, but I sometimes wonder where he benefits in our friendship. He’s always down to show up, though, and we’ve had so many adventures as a result.

Most recently, we went Charli XCX’s extremely limited BRAT tour (I think it was 7 dates with only 4 including her singing live). When this cryptically hushed performance was announced long before the now famed BRAT album was released, I text my group of friends that there was apparently some kind of show happening in a few months. Sean didn’t hesitate, and grabbed a ticket alongside me. We had a perfect evening, and raged to some of the first live performances of the songs that make up the album of the year. It paid off. But what if it didn’t? My friend still showed up for me, as he always has.

He’s fun but stable. He’s selfless and supportive. He’s guarded me when I wasn’t making the best decisions about whom I was spending time with, but did so in a way that never felt judgmental. I don’t have a lot of people like him in my life and I’m so happy that he’s here.

Happy Birthday Sean. Please don’t be mad at me.

Charli XCX – Von Dutch

Never try to be a ‘cult classic.’ It entails a pattern of delayed gratification and underappreciation until the point that you stop counting likes/votes/follows before they ever come. Charli XCX knows this all too well, being largely ignored by the mainstream until she literally punched us in the face to get our attention in the Von Dutch video.

Charli has a formula of producing industrial bops, featuring mechanical accelerations, screeches, Crashes, etc.. With tracks like the SOPHIE collab Vroom Vroom, Hot Girl, and Carly Rae Jepsen duet Backseat, she’s created a thorough line.

Following this recipe, she’s laid out a pissed off narrative, calling out everyone who’s appreciating her from the shadows while talking shit.

You’re obsessin’
Just confess it
‘Cause it’s obvious
I’m your number one, I’m your number one

Get your fucking flowers, Charli.

Everybody has thrown up drunken hands to Boom Clap one time or another, or given full credit to Iggy Azalea for Fancy when we’re all just singing the Charli bits.

This kind of slighting comes at a cost, and in this case, it’s a hijacked airplane with synths that push you to the point of a heart attack. It’s so thrilling, it barely takes time to build. It feels like a launching roller coaster. Before you know what’s happening, you’re already screaming.

Whether you’re quitting a job, speeding away from your haters, or being made fun of for still writing a music blog in 2024, you can rest assured that your peak frustrations will alleviate once you tell them who you are. Of course, they already know.

Gwen Stefani – What You Waiting For?

I am so fucking proud of my friend.

I’ve known her forever, but it seems like the new chapter that she is about to embark on will make her a new person, so I’m choosing to dedicate this song, and this written piece, to her.

In all honesty, this song evokes weirdly mixed feelings for me. I was strongly drawn to it at it’s release in 2004, when I was about 13 and in my freshman year of high school. The chaotic mix. The insane fashions in the music video. The girl power of it all. Something about my fixation to this song (along with countless other cues I’m sure) made my current group of guy friends, of whom I’d known since grade school, identify that I must be gay. With that information, they decided to disengage, and make very, very clear that I was not to communicate with them any longer, and we were no longer friends.

Scary conversations
Shut my eyes
Can’t find the break

This kind of thing happens to young gay people and I won’t trivialize that, but it’s almost poetic that the subject matter of the song is to get the fuck up and get out of your own way. There’s something better. There are SO many things better. You have to go get them. What you waiting for?

Who really cares
‘Cause it’s your life
You never know
It could be great

My friend saw me go through this experience and spiral into further trouble, but never allowed me to worry about our standing once I did finally come out as gay. I consider it a luxury that after that one defining incident, I’ve never had to suffer that rejection again. My friend jokes all the time about how “since we’re gay…” in reference to style, pop culture and politics. I can always feel safe to express myself to her and know that I won’t have to defend my point. She always just gets it.

Gwen Stefani carries a unique coolness in pop culture. It’s not only rare, but it’s almost exclusive to her. It’s hard to be the only girl in a band of dudes. She then went on to have multiple boys as children. She was the one girl all over again. My friend has two brothers, and two sons. Just like Gwen, she’s the one girl holding it down.

You know you’re only know
‘Cause of your sex chromosome

After crushing the assignment again and again at her job of 8 years, she decided to throw in the towel. Right in their fucking face. She’s leaving a company headed by an obnoxiously fervent right-winger to pursue a career in nursing. She confided in me recently that she wants to do good. She wants to help people. She wants a better future for her and her kids. As she excitedly enumerated these plans, I beamed with pride, tears streaming down my face. She’s taking a leap.

While she takes on this new pursuit, I’ll reflect on Gwen Stefani’s first solo album Love. Angel. Music. Baby., and consider what a necessary step it was for her career. She had the sauce to make it work, just like my friend. I’m so happy to see her push forward and make the future for herself that she deserves.

With that said, I have to wish each reader a happy Pride Month, and hope that you all feel the embrace that I’ve felt from everyone who was truly important. I have to wish a happy birthday and all of the best luck to my friend, who is also my sister.

I love you Chrissy.

Dua Lipa – Radical Optimism

What the hell is Radical Optimism?

According to Dua Lipa, “It’s like looking on the bright side of any situation.” That sounds pretty vague, but listening to her third studio album, her perspective becomes clear while the seawater runs off her head as she emerges from the depths of everything that has brought her to this point.

It would be reductive to call this a breakup album, because it’s really not. We’re talking about acceptance and acknowledgement here, in the face of some tough shit that has been dragging everyone’s favorite Albanian songstress down.

She’s taking everything head on. Right off the top with End Of An Era, she calls herself hopelessly romantic and considers diving back into the dating pool, pushing away the cliche “down bad” narrative.

No more “you’re not my type”
No more “at least I tried”
Done with the lonely nights

She’s not being stupid here. In the following bangers Houdini and Training Season, she’s holding suitors accountable, warning that she’ll be gone in a second if they come incorrect. Boys are cute, but she’s looking for a man who knows that the hell he’s doing. Training season’s over.

Dua Lipa – Training Season

It’s satisfying to see Dua create a clear narrative, which is something she’s previously never had to do because she’s so universally lovable. Her deep and clear voice, undeniable beauty and chill temperament make her an easy global favorite, but don’t forget that she’s an experienced artist with encouragement and wisdom to share.

Anything for Love cuts to the core message of Radical Optimism. The first half of the song is a piano ballad that finds her reflecting on how aimlessly strong she was in her approach to relationships before being broken down by life, love and people.

I’m not interested in a heart that doesn’t beat for me

As the bass drops, she kicks her hesitations aside and challenges the self-defeating thoughts that cause waves for the best of us.

We’re all so scared of forever
And no one promises always
We’re not perfect together
That means we gotta part ways

Languishing in this lighthearted second half, you feel a warm fist wiping away your tears, and clearly remember a version of yourself who wasn’t scarred by the memory of a withering connection. It’s encouraging, and yes, optimistic.

Dua Lipa – Anything For Love

The clear standout track on the album is the Kevin Parker cowritten/produced Happy For You. Line by line, the layers melt away to unveil the next emotion. She sees someone from her past being so happy with someone so perfect, and she’s… shockingly okay with it all.

And I didn’t even want to cry
Couldn’t believe it
Had to ask myself why

She’s putting her positivity to the test, and doing just fine. Her central focus becomes clear, and she makes good on the promises set from the beginning.

This album is the cumulation of her learned and earned growth. It’s a necessary reminder for us to stop getting in our own way, be smart, and break through the surface to something radical.

Dua Lipa – Happy For You (SNL)

The Weeknd, Daft Punk – I Feel It Coming

Perhaps the last great work to come out of Daft Punk, and certainly one of The Weeknd’s best tracks, this golden song will never devalue.

At a glance, it’s probably about making a woman climax. Nothing could be less interesting to me. And not even because of the gay part.

I love listening to this song, over and over and over. It’s immeasurably cool and smooth, which you can generally count on Daft punk for, but there’s something else going on here.

Tell me what you really like
Baby I can take my time
We don’t ever have to fight
Just take it step by step

Just barely below the glossy surface is a palpable hesitation. It’s not a sadness and it’s not anxiety, but it’s a Marked struggle of that other person letting anyone past the gates.

You’ve been scared of love
And what it did you you

Personally, I’m very detectably a person in a constant journey of healing. Most of my worst battles were of my own doing, so I seek no sympathy. I only hope to be a good, solid person to everyone, because, as the old trope goes “you never know what somebody is going through.”

I’ll almost always choose a relationship with someone at least a few years older. I appreciate meeting someone on the other side of their struggles and (hopefully) in their own pattern of healing.

Just a simple touch and it can set you free
We don’t have to rush when you’re alone with me

We’ve all got problems. What I don’t want is someone to surprise me–or them self-when they hit a bump in the road.

You’ve just gotta let me try
To give you what you want

The good news is, this song puts you in the best frame of mind. It acknowledges the tricky courting rituals when dealing with a healing person, but assures that there‘s a solution, an answer, and absolutely without question… a happy ending.

Beyoncé – JUST FOR FUN

I am the man. I know it.

Beyoncé says in a forced affirmation amid an inner turmoil that she’ll never detail.

As many layers as Cowboy Carter offers, I gravitated to this track in my first run-through. It feels familiar and as comforting as a sweater passed down from my dad, like it was designed for me before I existed.

Time moves quickly, and so do I.

Perseverance has been a recurring lesson in my life experience, but it remains a challenge. Being strong for yourself is also being strong for those around you who want to see you thrive.

Cuz time heals everything. I don’t need anything.

Thematically, this track is a shift for Beyoncé, who has conquered the world ten times over. What do you make of a deity picking up the pieces and shuffling forward? If she’s so infallible, but still hurting, what can the rest of us hope for?

Rather than a pleading through admission of defeat, this song reveals a human underneath the armor of perfection. She relates to all of us pushing forward, and moves through her mortal limitations like all of us can. Step by step, she’s closer to better, which is the best achievement any of us can hope for. One peaceful night is a triumph, like it would be for a newly sober cast-off that everyone else has given up on.

Here’s to hoping I fall fast asleep tonight.

With expert songwriting of Ryan Beatty, this uniquely sentimental moment on Cowboy Carter offers a hand to regular people beating themselves up for healing slowly, and getting stronger at the pace that only they can determine. It’s melancholic and honest, while looking in a mirror and saying boldly:

I need to get through this or just get used to it.

So what’ll it be?

JUST FOR FUN Lyric Video

Kacey Musgraves – Deeper Well

Finding comfort in the middle comes with age and wisdom. Deeper Well lands between the highest peak of love that Kacey Musgraves found in Golden Hour, and the depths of heartbreak that she explored in Star Crossed, landing in the grass near the trees with the old-as-time hills off in the distance.

Admittedly, I was perplexed as to where Kacey would go next in her music. Her love life has been the subject of media attention, and she engaged in the conversation through songs, but I knew there was more to her than the sum of her relationships. She’s breathtakingly beautiful, and as quirky, cute and fun as any house bunny on The Girls Next Door ever was. Her best virtues, though, are in her songwriting, instrumentation and introspection. She pulls everyone in to feel strangely relatable to a woman who could otherwise be the most intimidating girl in any room. She’s actually, in fact, the very coolest and most lovable.

In 2024 it’s no secret that every pop girlie currently active in music is releasing an album: Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, Ariana Grande, Charli XCX, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa and more. I was unsure of how Deeper Well would fare against all of these other massive projects. The truth of it is, she isn’t even competing. While all of these massive budget releases are fighting for a spot at the top, Kacey is staring off in a different direction from a tree above.

Kacey Musgraves sings Deeper Well on SNL

As the title suggests, Kacey has “found a deeper well,” and continues to present philosophical questions that have merit to be asked. On The Architect, she tilts her head and observes the perfection of an apple’s construction, and how the planets move around each other, and how we fit into it. The songwriting is sharp as an arrow. No minced words and no time wasted while she invites us to wonder with her:

This life that we make
Is it random or fate?
Can I speak to the Architect?

Moving Out was a clear instant favorite for me. In it, Kacey reflects on buying a new house with a new lover, and the warm memories of building it–and her relationship- up to perfection. All was well, until it wasn’t.

We kept living in that house
Planting roses all around
Leaving it better than we found it
Now autumn’s moving in
And we’re moving out…

It feels direct and matter of fact while maintaining so much gentle humility. It’s akin to receiving heartbreaking news from your mom. The simple presentation somehow makes it closer to ok. Kacey has learned to experience failure and move through it gracefully, not stopping to break down or rage out. With life comes experience, and sometimes your new strength stems from within when you don’t expect it.

in Anime Eyes, Kacey nods to her love for Japan (documented previously in Star Crossed track Cherry Blossom) and playfully unfurls a love song that only she could make. It’s strange and silly but altogether cute.

A million little stars
Bursting into hearts
In my anime eyes

She admits that she can be pulled back into love, even through her newfound exploration of self discovery, self care and an unshakable sense of peace in solitude. You can go left, or right, or just stay still sometimes. It’s alright.

Through everything, Kacey hasn’t fallen out of love with the wonders of the world. In Dinner with Friends, she riffs off some of her favorite things that make life special. She recounts the look on the face of someone receiving a present, reflects on waking up early for no reason, and even remembers her favorite cake from the famed Madonna Inn to show the wonderment that she constantly feels. It’s endlessly endearing, and completely in pattern for the same girl who wrote about sea creatures that glow in Oh What a World and the love she has for her friends in Simple Times.

The album as a whole feels like a folk creation with the country-pop influences that Kacey has always been known for. Cardinal and Jade Green are fresh interpretations of Laurel Canyon’s storied legacy. The familiar mystique of Fleetwood Mac wafts through this project, and the lush green imagery used throughout the album’s visuals are soothing indicators that there’s no sharpness to be experienced within the bounds of Deeper Well. It’s beautiful and soft, and lives within itself like a biosphere. We’ve been through enough, and it’s okay to bring it back down to basics in an uncomplicated human way.

The bright blue optimism and blood red passion experienced in Kacey’s previous life chapters have led to this centered green space more focused on upward growth that we can all find. Seasons progress amid life’s chaos, and it takes a watchful eye to appreciate all of the beauty presented by the world around. This album encourages us to feel everything, and respect the processes established long before us. Look within, and find a deeper well.

Sensational Songs: Coldplay – Fix You

I can’t stand it.

This song is almost always a skip for me. I’m rarely in a place where I can face it.

And the tears come streaming down your face

There is no more tender place in my heart than where this song lives. I think about my cousin who took me to my first concert during Coldplay’s X&Y tour in 2006, or when I went to a 2009 Viva La Vida show with my sister in LA and they played “Strawberry Swing,” or when I visited my brother in Florida to see Coldplay and Robyn tour together around 2012. All of these occasions saw me welling up with joy and introspection during this song.

One of the hardest cries of my life was during a benefit show that Coldplay held in 2011 at UCLA. The tickets were only available by lottery, which my mom helped me to gain access to. I was down bad, having recently experienced the loss of Amy Winehouse. The air was cold and the stage fell dark. Chris tinkered on the piano and sang solemnly “They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said no, no, no.” before parlaying that melody into Fix You. I had barely left the house in the previous weeks and I was not prepared to be upended by these fellow Londonites paying homage to their peer; a fallen star in my eyes.

I’ve recently witnessed unspeakable loss felt by someone as close to me as anyone ever was. I’m overwhelmed with grief. In trying to write about it, I’m experiencing the dread of having insufficient means to express what I’m seeing, feeling and trying to acknowledge. What do you even say?

Stuck in reverse

I don’t know what to do. I’ve stumbled around with humor. I’ve attempted to make sense of it and assure that I’m not well while she’s not well. I’m failing.

And if you never try, then you’ll never know.

I want to emulate the triumphant second half of this song. It feels like breaking free from the shackles of one’s own circumstances. It affords the suffering just one bright moment of peace. I’d do anything to make my best friend feel better. I’d trade all of the good parts of my life to make hers okay. I don’t have that power, and it hurts.

I can’t change what is happening, but I wish I could.

I will try…

Sensational Songs: Savoir Adore – Dreamers

Definitely a song I’ve leaned on for many chapters in my life, I’m thrilled to share this one.

Right off the top, you know it’s good shit. A bubbly bass line and tip-tappy guitar riffs welcome you into this grandiose assertion that your life might never be exactly what you targeted, but the people around you will support you in those moments of doubt.

“Now, not the same.
Watch it tumble down.
Falling all around.”

Is met with

“You can’t stay where you are.
I will wake you in the morning.”

One of my favorite recurring lessons is that, no amount of planning or steering will determine the direction of your life.

I’ve grappled with regrets over versions of myself that I never was, or opportunities that I didn’t seize. It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t, so it isn’t.

Be prepared to adapt, grow and take care of yourself. You also have to accept external affirmation when you need it. And we often do need it.

I found this song while watching a 2014 Vivienne Westwood runway show being streamed online. I’ve trusted her kooky social media incantations and aesthetically contorting fashions since I learned who she is. I’d naturally trust the musical pairing of her show. I’m so glad I did.

She has since departed (RIP), but left an immeasurable mark on fashion, the activist community and shy dreamers everywhere.

Believe it or not, everything has a clockwork consistency of working out in the end. You have to shut up for a bit to receive it. And try to enjoy it.

You can stay where you are.

Best of 2023: Selena Gomez – Single Soon

Selena Gomez has always had my back.

I had a whole epiphany moment with “Rare.” I was pretty deep in it for a bit. She always knows what to say.

We’ve seen her fight the haters (“Who Says“). We’ve seen her be sexy (“Good For You“). This time, she’s emerging as the victor in an itchy relationship that she can’t escape fast enough.

This song boasts a certain “sorry ’bout it” attitude that we don’t see female artists embody often enough. It’s badass and refreshing.

It’s fun to imagine her picking out shoes that’ll clack clack clack as she runs away from that loser to catch her car, purse bouncing off her back as she slams close the SUV door. She’s busy.

I know he’ll be a mess
When I break the news
But I’ll be single soon…

It’s a sexy mid-tempo earworm that grows on you. Her signature medium effort comes across cool and deliberate. She’s in full control here.

Realistically, this song can be applied when you’re absolutely NOT over someone, and you need a little boost that only she can provide. She’s been through it all and she’s come out stronger. Look at her now!