I’m Just Gonna Dance All Night

Kanye and Drake take the Coliseum

In a massive double-bill that nobody expected, the two titans put aside their confusing public feud in effort to free long-jailed Chicago gang leader Larry Hoover at the LA Memorial Coliseum.

Announced just a few weeks before happening, my immediate reaction was “That’s never going to happen.” Kanye (Now known legally as “Ye”) has a fantastic track record of grandiosely changing his mind at the expense of his loyal fans. Whether he’s storming off stage mid rant, or not showing up at all, we are now trained to expect something to the left of what we really wanted from Kanye.

You want an album? Here’s a fashion collection. You want a tour? Here’s a series of gospel performances live-streamed on Sunday. You want to root for him? Here’s some Trump rhetoric. It’s exhausting.

That aside, I lurked around with the hype kids and paid moderate attention to his goings-on. I’d show up to the performances he’d occasionally grace us with: When he brought 808’s & Heartbreak to the Hollywood Bowl in 2015, his guest appearance during Kid Cudi’s 2019 Coachella performance to bring the Kids See Ghosts album to life, and his Easter Sunday Service performance the following morning. Its fun to be part of the news cycle that he creates and to say “yeah I was there!” even though he generally skims past the hits and focuses on promoting his current projects and personal agenda.

But then the Coliseum happened.

The ticket prices ranged wildly on Ticketmaster, depending on when you checked. Starting at a flat $400, I wasn’t willing to gamble. $200? Meh, not worth the risk. $100? Very possibly just might attend. Finally when some $50 tickets were released in the lower section I made my move and declared that, whatever happened, it was worth 50 bucks even if just to hear Kanye rant for a while and Drake give us a performance to compensate us for showing up on a chilly, windy night when we should all be holiday shopping, or in the case of the many USC students in attendance, studying for finals.

The stakes were raised when it was announced that the performance would be live-streamed on Amazon Prime. The buzz in the air was palpable, but nobody dared mention what was on our mind: “Is Ye going to show up? Will he show out?”

Eventually Kanye’s choir descended midway down the steps of an unoccupied section of the Coliseum and began singing covers of Lauryn Hill and Adele. After a few elongated songs, Kanye and Drake appeared atop the stairs and made their way down to the field while the crowd lost their minds. Even though we knew what we came for, the sight was still difficult to believe. There they are. Two guys just walking down some steps, with thousands of onlookers in hysteria.

In a surprising move, Kanye started the night. He ran right into his set without lecturing us or ranting. As mentioned, he has the public accustomed to being fooled. Kanye is never giving the obvious. Tonight’s gag? Psych. Gotcha. We’re doing ALL. THE. HITS. Sit the fuck back and behold all of Kanye’s top radio bangers spanning the entirety of his career. I nearly passed out. It just got better and better with each song, leaving me scrambling to imagine what might come next. How many Kanye songs do I know!? I had no idea I would even need to hearken back to the golden years.

Jesus Walks, All Falls Down, Gold Digger, Touch the Sky, Stronger, Good Life. He smashed through his set, running back and forth across the electric ant hole that was the stage. He jumped, stalked, addressed every angle of the massive crowd. He came back for his crown that night, and he earned it. After all these years of public stunts and antics, he finally gave what was so deeply wanted. In a joyous display of affection for those of us who stuck by him, he came back for us.

He disappeared and made room for Drake to ascend the stage and address the crowd formally, thanking Ye for having him and committing to play us “some new stuff.” Honestly, the crowd probably would have preferred that he didn’t. After Kanye ripped our faces off and left us breathless, nobody was dying to hear Certified Lover Boy tracks, which covered his entire set, save for Gods Plan near the end of his turn.

Kanye remerged after Drake and gave a few more songs, rounding out the evening with Runaway, the blockbuster juggernaut ballad that is commonly regarded as Kanye’s best song. Haunting, sad, funny and relatable. It’s his autobiographical masterpiece that hypnotizes listeners ten years on and well into the future. It was a perfect ending to Kanye’s direct assertion to loyalists and doubters everywhere that evening, both those in the stands and those watching from home: Kanye is the man.

Revisiting Back to Black: Addicted

This installment is part of a retrospective on “Back to Black,” the most acclaimed album of Amy Winehouse who passed away 10 years ago this July. I’ll revisit one track every month in order of their appearance on the album.

While technically not part of the original tracklisting on Back to Black, this song is a well-needed tongue in cheek moment that carries the spirit of Amy’s referential styling while showcasing her infallible brattiness and humor.

It’s a simple tale: she doesn’t want her gal pal to bring around her good-for-nothing man who smokes all of Amy’s weed.

Once is enough
To make me attack
So bring me a bag
And your man can come back

With brass and woodwind elements in tow, this song could entertain the classiest of crowds in any lounge of yesteryear, but adds the brilliance of modern-day youth struggles to make a really fucking cool song for all of us to enjoy, no matter what generation you came from.

2021 – A Year in Songs

We didn’t shake off the societal injuries sustained in 2020 as we had hoped, but many aspects of life returned this year, some bigger and better than ever. Live music exploded (with proof of vax, of course) and many of us flocked to shows, gigs and even festivals at a rapid pace. I was out there in the crowds, stands and fields living my life and losing my mind.

Some of the music outflow had previously been shelved from last year. Other releases resulted from pent up creativity that results when you literally shut down entertainment for a calendar year. Whatever the cause, we saw some amazing work coming from every genre of music.

As always, I’ve accumulated a “year’s best” list in a playlist I’ve named “2021-derful.” Here are some of the standout hits that I can’t help but to highlight. Enjoy!

2021-derful

Solar Power – Lorde

Lorde took a cue from Robyn’s “Honey” and went for the warm fuzzies with her album Solar Power. In the title track, she forms a love letter to the sunny warmth of the hotter months, admitting that she’s a social flake until the weather forces her out of her reclusion.
“But when the heat comes, something takes ahold. Can I kick it? Yeah. I can.“
The slow build feels like climbing up a hill to a sunny plateau filled with dancing flowers. It takes a bit to get there, but it’s sugary sweet when you do.

Carefully – Demi Lovato

I can’t discuss Demi without pointing out the obvious: The person? Insufferable. The music? Irresistible. From their album “Dancing with the Devil… the Art of Starting Over” that I would’ve missed entirely if not for the heads up by a fellow music head, Carefully finds Demi self-criticizing again. They warn that they’re complicated, overwhelming, intoxicating? They’re laying it bare asking delicately, “so babe, if you think you can handle me, please handle me carefully.” The melody is haunting and enchanting. I couldn’t stop repeating it for weeks. Bonus points: it’s super fun to sing

Pretty Places – Aly & AJ

Who doesn’t want to run away with your bestie? Nobody. Aly & AJ give you the play-by-play of their grand escape in a smooth, summery chill jam. Has life become too much to handle? Screw ’em. Load up the car and get the hell out of there. “Pull us away from where the pain is.”

Fuck Him All Night – Azealia Banks

Initial though: No fucking way. Nobody bests Azealia Banks like Azealia Banks, and when she’s good, she’s great. It takes immeasurable talent to inject this level of charm into lyrics like:
“‘Cause we can slut, we can fuck, we can dig in the guts. We can suck to the nut if you ready to bust“
She’s a sly fox and knows how to stun us in the best ways possible.

Magic – Polo & Pan

Never have I felt so inverted during a song as with this. Taking a very un-special line from Pilot’s 1974 jam “It’s Magic,” which we’d all recognize from car commercials, this French electro duo replicated an aurora borealis, bioluminescence, or the entire sensation of an acid trip in one song. It goes, and goes and goes in a dynamically blooming fashion that gets better and stranger in each of it’s 6 minutes of runtime. I laughed out loud in joy and disbelief the first time listening to this. It’s a pure triumph.

Guerilla – Remi Wolf

You don’t know about Remi Wolf? You’d better fix that. A former Olympic skier and American Idol contestant, she’s had quite the road to her debut LP Juno. She’s tough to describe, but “fun” is an appropriate attribution. This song reminds me of my introduction to M.I.A. or Santigold. It’s just good shit, no matter where you stand in music taste. Get into your party pants and dance.

Jail – Kanye West

This is the best song of the year. I’m disappointed too. Kanye (now Ye, evidently) is exhausting, and being a fan feels like running after a bus. When do you give up? His long anticipated and delayed album Donda finally arrived, and Jail is its crown jewel. With a guitar riff by a disgraced Marilyn Manson and a secondary version featuring DaBaby, this was built to trigger, but it’s so damn good. It’s original version prominently features JAY-Z, and we’re all hoping he’s not lying in saying “This might be the return of The Throne.”

State of Grace (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Most media attention has been given to a certain extended version of a different song from Taylor’s re-recording of Red, her best album. Nobody would be shocked to know that instead, I’m featuring “State of Grace,” which is my favorite Taylor song. It’s a unique opportunity for me to address it as a “new” track, since I fell in love with it way back in 2012 initially. This re-recording is a sparkly, lightly gilded interpretation of a thrilling, pulsing race toward the end goal of love. It’s a perfect song to me, and I’ve seriously considered tattooing the line “And I never saw you coming. And I’ll never be the same.”

Revisiting Back to Black: He Can Only Hold Her

Second to being asked if I’ve seen the 2015 Amy Winehouse documentary, the most common question that people have for me is, “what’s your favorite song of hers?” That’s a surprisingly difficult question to answer for an artist who had only two major studio releases and one posthumous album.

The tricky thing is, there are so many covers and interpretations of classic songs to reference when reviewing all of her recordings. Some of her deep cuts are her best work, such “Fuck Me Pumps,” or her version of Donny Hathaway’s “A Song For You.”

Despite all that, it’s always been easy for me to pick “He Can Only Hold Her” as my favorite. At a younger age, I didn’t fully understand what it meant, but it always hit me in the core as perfectly fitting for my taste; nostalgic, melancholy and a little bit hopeful. She swiftly articulates that she wishes things weren’t as they are, but they are.

He Can Only Hold Her studio version

She’s so vacant
Her soul is taken
He thinks, what’s she running from?

Some of my favorite videos of Amy on YouTube are those of her performing this song. With shout-outs to her backup singers and a Lauryn Hill reference, you can see her having fun and really enjoying herself, which always makes me happy.

He Can Only Hold Her live

This song never gets old to me. I often reflect on how perfectly she foresaw her own legacy with this song, laying bare the fact: “What’s inside her never dies.”

Revisiting Back to Black: Some Unholy War

Purely sexy, moody and indulgent, this track appears nearly at the end of Back to Black and gives one last look back at the worst of Amy’s toxic attachment to her husband Blake.

The songwriting is DIRECT, succinct and ruthless. Even as the shortest song on the album at just 2:22, it leaves a lasting flavor of both self-congratulation for being loyal paired with the guilt associated with turning back to your worst habit. This story here is reminiscent of picking a scab– weirdly satisfying but leaves you more damaged than you started.

Some have speculated that this track is about a suicide pact, and honestly, I wouldn’t put it past Amy Winehouse to write that. Her honesty was unflinching, no matter what.

Revisiting Back to Black: Wake Up Alone

Breakup songs are as old as music. It’s a triumph to create anything original, let alone timeless. “Wake Up Alone” focuses on the painfully awkward uncoupling that happens for months or years after you’ve separated from someone.

“I stay up, clean the house
Least I’m not drinking
Run around just so I don’t
Have to think about thinking“

There is no such thing as the “never look back” that movies will tell you is possible. There will be dozens of days where you get along with your normal, human activities that can distract you enough to convince yourself that ‘everything is fine.’ Sadly, it’s always temporary.

Amy talks about moving past the mundane business that she involves herself with until inevitably, the feelings creep back in as the sunlight fades.

“That silent sense of content
That everyone gets
Just disappears
Soon as the sun sets“

She dreams about her ex, describing the experience through countless water analogies and slipping into the comfort she allows herself to feel only in fantasy.

“And I wake up alone.“

Revisiting Back to Black: Tears Dry on Their Own

Toe-tapping and knee-slapping, this song makes you dance and sing along while lamenting your own romantic failures. Adele took note of this style as have many artists since 2006. Sometimes, expressing your pain by tearing up a dancefloor or shouting lyrics at your windshield during at a stoplight is the best thing for your spirit. This song gives you relief with fulfilling musical structure and razor-sharp lyrics for the ages.

“All I can ever be to you is the darkness that we knew.
And this regret I got accustomed to.”

This was the best production that Salaam Remi contributed to “Back to Black,” and it expertly sampled Marvin Gaye’s “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” The track, as a result, is both nostalgic and timeless. It eludes to the carefree sentiment of a (possibly fabricated) bygone era, but stays grounded with a relentless recount of heartbreak.

“It’s my responsibility
And you don’t owe nothing to me
But to walk away, I have no capacity”

Original down-tempo version

In a strangely ceremonious manner, the news media loves focusing on this song to commemorate Amy’s legacy. In entertainment news segments, still photographs remain on screen with lyrics blaring in the background:

“I wish I could say no regrets.
No emotional debts.
‘Cause as we kiss goodbye, the sun sets...”

Revisiting Back to Black: Love is a Losing Game

Love is a Losing Game is not the shortest song on Back to Black, but has the most lyrically simplistic structure. That said, it’s quite possibly the most impactful on the album. It is direct and simple, as if she’s making a speech at a funeral and being careful to observe brevity for fear of falling apart.

This song was the fifth single from Back to Black, and would be Amy’s last single of her life. George Michael listed it as a favorite during a radio interview, and it has been covered by Sam Smith and Prince (even once being joined by Amy on stage in their only ever duet).

George Michael’s Tribute to Amy Winehouse

Perfect Audio of Prince and Amy Winehouse

Personally I had a tough time listening to it all the way through as a teenager; it was so unwaveringly direct and so sad. Finally I let myself run it all the way through on the day of my Aunt’s burial, which was rainy and dark.

She bullet points the biggest fear of anyone who’s ever loved, and the realization that the loss of that connection is the worst fate we might suffer. She does so eloquently and in a relatable way that can be helpful to those of us suffering that loss. This song is invaluable.

Homosational: Not Your Mom’s Pride Playlist

I love sharing music and telling long stories, which is why this blog exists. A huge source of joy for me each year is curating a Pride playlist. I typically start building in March for it to be ready by June. This year, I published it in May, giving a little extra time to dig in. I’ve now extended it to include over 60 songs for a little extra spice.

To be clear, this is also a general purpose Summer, workout or party playlist, but it tends to lean more queer and female (you know, the best musicians) than my other mixes that I assemble. In any case, regardless of your placement in the LGBTQIAA+ community, you’re eligible to bump it all summer long and beyond.

Year after year I try to create a unique experience with this playlist. Sure, everybody loves to hear Cher’s “Believe” (and it’s on there per listener request), but I make every effort to mix it up and highlight new bops and lesser-known bangers. I want this playlist to feel like a moment: unique, memorable and FUN.

Being forthcoming, I’ll say bluntly that I broke my own rule around having too many songs from a single artist. This playlist has a lot of SOPHIE, in a well-deserved and very intentional tribute following her untimely death earlier this year. SOPHIE gave unparalleled monster bangers that deserve plenty of highlighting. What better a time than pride? You’ll also find tributes to Lady Red Couture and Naya Rivera, who gave us one hell of a show during their lives.

Here are some standout moments on Homosational. Enjoy!

LIZ – When I Rule the World

SOPHIE’s production blew us to space with this one. It leaves you nearly breathless.

Icona Pop & SOFI TUKKER – Spa

Banging. Sexual. Fucking fun.

Megan Thee Stallion – Body (Joel Corry Remix)

How do you take one of the past year’s hottest songs and turn it up 10x more? Ask Joel Corry.

Dagny – Somebody

Sometimes Europe achieves a level of pop perfection untouchable by the rest of the world. This is pop perfection.

Revisiting Back to Black: Just Friends

One of very few mid-to-upper tempo songs on Back to Black comes with a pause of self criticism for a love that shouldn’t be, but won’t stop.

Her fella has taken up another girl, but he just keeps going back to Amy. She knows it’s wrong and clearly he does too, but they can’t seem to create a balance and be “just friends.”

Since her passing, it has been said by Amy’s creative partners that her incomplete and never-released third album was going to be island inspired and more ska forward. This song is the best indication of what that may have looked like. She wore it well, and undoubtedly would have taken it even further.